Happy High Status: How to Be Effortlessly Confident

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Groskop hosts an excellent podcast about public speaking called How To Own The Room, and this book does have a focus on speech giving and presentations. But I also found its ideas really useful in other areas of my life, and it would also definitely be useful to anyone looking for the confidence to expand their #bookstagram presence. We aim to make all Guardian Masterclasses fully accessible. If you require any adjustments to enable your participation in this course, please get in touch with us at [email protected]. To support Fatima Whitbread’s latest fund-raising go to https://www.justgiving.com/fundraising/fatimawhitbread

You might choose to confide difficulties to a colleague. Photograph: Klaus Vedfelt/Getty Images 3. Be honest about your negativity Everyone wants to be able to face challenging situations without feeling daunted, intimidated or stressed. But no-one wants to be labelled over-confident, arrogant or smarmy, or to get caught up in their own hype. So how can you feel authentically confident - without the cringe, and without pretending to be something you're not? The “externals” are what others see: how you present to the world, how you stand or sit, how you enter a room, what you’re wearing.

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This course has now passed, but you can be the first to know about the next one - and other workshops like this - by signing up to our newsletter here. This feeling is usually only fleeting, but in her signature style, Viv Groskop shows there is a way of commanding it on demand. She combines the latest analysis and research, observations from psychology and neuroscience, and broad examples from the worlds of film, comedy and politics, to help anybody harness this everyday superpower to give them strength and energy, whatever they’re faced with.” Lucy Oates, senior commissioning editor, bought world English language rights to Happy High Status: How to Be Effortlessly Confident at auction from Cathryn Summerhayes at Curtis Brown. It will be published by Torva in June 2023.

Transworld has acquired an “authoritative and compassionate” book on confidence by award-winning stand-up comedian, broadcaster and coach Viv Groskop.Remember the Maya Angelou quote: “People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” Be the best listener and/or observer in the room Everyone wants to feel at home and at ease with themselves. We all want to be able to face any situation, both in life and at work, without feeling daunted, intimidated or stressed. But no-one wants to be labelled over-confident, arrogant or smarmy, or to get caught up in their own hype. So how can you feel authentically, properly confident - without the cringe, and without pretending to be something you're not? Growing up in Communist Romania she says she learnt about gender and social equality, while ideas of self-expression or personal ambition weren’t present. And nobody needs to know you are doing these things. They can be done anytime, even in the middle of a job interview. They can even help you recover a meeting that seems “lost”. At any moment, you can take a deep breath, reset and give yourself a new start. Take your focus off ‘me, me, me’ In a series of chapters in which she approaches the idea of status from different perspectives –for example ‘be like final-scene Sandy and Danny’ – Viv Groskop gives a mixture of friendly encouragement, deep dive psychology and practical tips such as ‘leave a gap and a space for a thought to land with the other person.’

If you are having a wobble in a meeting or in a stressful situation, recover focus and composure by actively pushing your feet into the floor. Imagine your brain or your mind dropping like a stone into the centre of your body. Imagine that you are breathing through the soles of your feet. Because we cannot possibly all have the same energy or confidence. Which is why some people hate some comedians that others love. And why some people find certain politicians charismatic and exciting, and others regard that person as insufferable and narcissistic. (Important: part of confidence is about accepting that you cannot be loved – or even liked – by absolutely everyone.) It can help to ask whether there is another quality – or combination of qualities – you could bring to this situation that are more specific and easily applied. So if you’re going to a party, instead of trying to be confident, you could decide to be helpful to the host, open-minded or companionable. Before going on stage she recommends immersing yourself in the energy of the room. And Angela will always make sure her eyes look amazing. After all, isn’t it a bit, well, Oprah? Here are some ideas for how to flip our confused stereotype about confidence on its head – and replace it with something more personalised and reassuring. Choose something else instead of confidence

Too many people are vague in their examination of their own confidence. They expect to just feel it unquestioningly. But that’s unrealistic. You can’t wake up every day feeling great. It pays to think about what exactly is bothering you, and what you can do to fix it. The answer is often very specific. For some of us, this quality could be about channelling quiet calm, reassurance and diplomacy. For others it could be bringing the wow factor, exuding charisma or even being slightly seductive. Or it could be about bringing one of any of these: curiosity, warmth, a questioning nature, generosity, intensity, focus, ease, dynamism, wit, kindness … There is no right answer. This compassionate, funny and motivating book is about how to have effortless confidence. The kind of confidence that comes not from anything particular that you say or do but from how you hold yourself, your ‘status’. At its heart is the idea that ‘we are all always giving off signals and “tells” to others that signify – consciously or unconsciously – how we expect them to treat us.’

If you want to see me ahead of Happy HIgh Status, here are some events I have coming up: Hosting Killing Eve author Luke Jennings in Wanstead on Thursday 27 April. French Author Night at Beyond Words Festival, Institut Français, London, Tuesday 16 May. And I’ve just found out that I’m hosting Margaret Atwood at the Hay Festival on Thursday 1 June and Jojo Moyes on Friday 2 June . Come and say hi. We make a huge mistake when we think that confidence is about taking up space vocally or audibly. Real confidence is about knowing what’s right for a particular moment and what is appropriate and needed in a situation. Sometimes that means stepping up and saying your piece. This week I am really excited to finally unveil my new book…. HAPPY HIGH STATUS: HOW TO BE EFFORTLESSLY CONFIDENT! This book is coming out on June 29. If you can make people laugh at work then you are doing OK. Photograph: Getty Images 5. Make people (and yourself) laughShould you expect to feel confident at work? Or is it normal to feel disillusioned and fed up at least some of the time? I mean, it is work. It is not your life. Amid all the noise and drama about quiet quitting, generational differences, hybrid working patterns, flexible hours, “the Great Resignation” and whatever latest workplace trend is in the headlines, there’s a temptation to believe that you need to love your work and feel very confident in it to be a fully functioning member of society. We tend to forget that most people neither love their work nor hate it. They just do it reasonably uneventfully, get paid and then go home. Sometimes that is the definition of professional confidence: getting the job done. But what if that’s not enough? When I interviewed Michelle Obama’s speechwriter Sarah Hurwitz about confidence in public speaking, she had some advice which made my jaw drop because it was so obvious – and yet so brilliant. This also serves as a reminder that people care way more about how you say something and the level of authenticity of your connection than they care about the actual content of what you’re saying. (Although obviously make the content excellent too.) Get out of your head Happy high status is a new way of thinking about confidence and how you relate to yourself. It's how actors and comedians enhance their presence on stage and screen. And in this inspirational guide, Viv Groskop explains how we can access it at any time to lend strength and energy to our interactions, big and small. She had a tip about using written notes or prompt cards. If you’re going to have anything written – or printed – on a piece of paper in front of you, then only use the top third of the paper.